Today was a good day. So good that not even the world's most horrible researcher and the world's most inept therapist could put a damper on it. Dare I say it but . . . I felt almost like my old self.
I had more focus and motivation than I have had in eons. I was productive. I was cheery . . . well okay, perhaps not cheery but I was not the black hole of despair that I have been for so long. I strongly suspect that the meds are kicking in. Woohoo!
Now lest you think today was all sunshine and roses coming out of my ass, I admit to struggling a bit this morning. I had it in my head that Brad was going to take the kids to daycare because he was off today. My morning is far more relaxed when he does this . . . also, I don't have to deal with the daycare drop-offs which have really laid on the mother-guilt as of late.
So that was the plan . . . only the kids had a different plan. Apparently they wanted mommy to bring them to daycare. I know, I was just as shocked as you at this turn of events. I cannot wait for this all about mommy phase to end because I am wiped out.
Normally I was allow my mommy guilt to go into overdrive and play the martyr and take the kids because they were demanding me. NOT TODAY. Nope, today I ignored the guilt and followed my heart . . . which was desperately begging for coffee after yet another crappy night.
That little act of rebellion took so much stress off me. I was getting tense, getting angry and the moment I decided to let Brad take them the anger lifted.
So I got my coffee and I headed off to work with a wee bit of a spring in my step. Okay in the spirit of total honesty . . . the spring may have been because I was wearing sandals and it was only 10 degrees but I was still springy!
My totally useless, talks more about herself then I do about me, therapist actually said something of use today. She reminded me that there will be down days but they don't necessarily mean that I am regressing or that I am sliding back into the depression, they just happen. I will have to keep that in mind because let's face it, it would be naive to believe that a few good days mean that I am totally in the clear.
So what about you? How was your day today?