Thursday, 15 September 2011

Shiny Happy People AKA The Meds are Kicking In

Today was a good day.  So good that not even the world's most horrible researcher and the world's most inept therapist could put a damper on it.  Dare I say it but . . .  I felt almost like my old self.

I had more focus and motivation than I have had in eons.  I was productive.  I was cheery . . . well okay, perhaps not cheery but I was not the black hole of despair that I have been for so long.  I strongly suspect that the meds are kicking in. Woohoo!

Now lest you think today was all sunshine and roses coming out of my ass, I admit to struggling a bit this morning.  I had it in my head that Brad was going to take the kids to daycare because he was off today.  My morning is far more relaxed when he does this . . . also, I don't have to deal with the daycare drop-offs which have really laid on the mother-guilt as of late.

So that was the plan . . . only the kids had a different plan.  Apparently they wanted mommy to bring them to daycare.  I know, I was just as shocked as you at this turn of events.  I cannot wait for this all about mommy phase to end because I am wiped out. 

Normally I was allow my mommy guilt to go into overdrive and play the martyr and take the kids because they were demanding me.  NOT TODAY.  Nope, today I ignored the guilt and followed my heart . . . which was desperately begging for coffee after yet another crappy night.

That little act of rebellion took so much stress off me.  I was getting tense, getting angry and the moment I decided to let Brad take them the anger lifted. 

So I got my coffee and I headed off to work with a wee bit of a spring in my step. Okay in the spirit of total honesty . . .  the spring may have been because I was wearing sandals and it was only 10 degrees but I was still springy! 

My totally useless, talks more about herself then I do about me, therapist actually said something of use today.  She reminded me that there will be down days but they don't necessarily mean that I am regressing or that I am sliding back into the depression, they just happen.  I will have to keep that in mind because let's face it, it would be naive to believe that a few good days mean that I am totally in the clear.

So what about you?  How was your day today?
Jenn

5 comments:

  1. I'm really happy you had a good day! I'm glad you're feeling better...you deserve to have many, many more good days!

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  2. Jenn it is awesome to hear you have a spring back in your step! And kudos to you for giving yourself a break and letting some of that God awful Mummy guilt slide.

    As for me, I've had the most brilliant week I've had in possibly years. Some times the stars just align. I hope this feeling wings its way to you too xx

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  3. Good to hear you have got your spring back and feeling better. Perhaps you need to be a bit more rebellious??

    Hope you have a good weekend x

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  4. So glad that you had a good day!
    Yay for taking control... good for you.

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  5. So glad you had a decent day. I'm still learning how to be gentler on myself too - how to take the time I need and ease up on the self-judgement. xo

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