Words truly are a powerful thing.
One of my favourite bloggers is Eden Riley. She writes with such honesty that there are times she totally takes my breath away. It is not pretty, it is not meant it be. It is her truth and she puts it out there. I feel honoured to have been allowed into her world through her words.
Her post today about Naked Blogging got me thinking about honesty and truth. Are they one in the same or are they entirely different beasts?
I have a degree in history. It becomes abundantly clear when you study history that truth depends on your perspective. When it comes to the human story there is no absolute truth.
This space is my space to write out my truth . . . but my truth is not necessarily reality. I wrote with an honest heart about how I felt unwanted, disliked and abandoned once I returned to work. This was my truth . . . however, it was not reality. The reality was I was being lied to by my brain. My depression made me believe things that were not reality.
My words, my truth, hurt others who read it. It angered them and made them feel like I basically slandered them.
That was never my intention but such was the power behind those words.
Is it worth it for bloggers to put their truth out there? Are there ramifications? Judgements? Frustrations?
Short answer is "yes" it is totally worth it. While my truth may not have been reality, putting it out there helped get it out of my brain. It helped me to let go, not fixate . . . it was released.
My truth may also help others who are being lied to by depression.
Just a few short years ago I would have told you that this whole blogging thing was nuts . . . self-indulgent with a hint of narcissism. Perhaps that is the case but it is also so much more.
Reading other peoples truths, being allowed into their lives, to hear them write with honest hearts about their joys and struggles, triumphs and failures has given me perspective. Each new and different perspective opens my heart and mind.
I am not alone. I have a voice. My words have power. I am neither perfect nor worthless. I am accepted.
So for now, I will continue to write about my truth and send it out into the universe . . . aka the Internet . . . and hope that the power emanating from my words is positive.
Jenn
Beautifully, powerfully written Jenn.
ReplyDeleteI so admire Eden and yourself and other bloggers like it who are so real in their writing. I know it helps so much, and so many. I'll never be able to go to that sweet spot in writing though. There are promises I've made to myself that I have to keep. Or maybe I am just a coward by not letting loose with the posts I sometimes wish I had the guts to write...
Nonetheless I remain in awe of people like you Jenn!
PS Love the line about "being lied to by Depression" - it paints the perfect description.
Wow Jenn, great post. We all need our own space be it physical or cyber to let whatever we need to out...
ReplyDeleteAs i said great post..
Yes, definitely worth it. Because it is only by putting forward our own truths that we can show others what it's like inside our own brains. And sometimes, if you can gather enough perspectives, you can find a common truth, something shared and completely honest.
ReplyDeleteI think putting it out there is so worth it, even if you help only one person. When you put your truths out there for the world to see, it makes others feel like they can do the same. It makes us relate to one another better and you feel more "real" (if that makes sense).
ReplyDeleteWITH A HINT OF NARCISSISM?
ReplyDeleteHoney, I pour that crap over my blog and roll around in it like a euphoric pig in shyte.
And yes, it's worth it. Always.
I'm sorry people were offended by your truth. And you like Eden's style? I like your style. Well-written.
ReplyDeleteLove love love this. And you. And that dirty mind of yours.
ReplyDeleteI am a very open book when it comes to my struggles with PPD and bipolar disorder.
ReplyDeleteI've had emails telling me that I was too open...and that I scared them.
It's not my intention to scare people, it's my intention to help others understand how dark depression can be...and how to help others who are going through it.
I think that this is your space on the internet. This is part of your brain and soul. Never censor that because someone doesn't like it.
This is your space. You own it.
I think it's absolutely ok to use your space as how you see fit. Whether or not what you post is "true" is kind of irrelevant if you're writing about your feelings in relation to a situation. All truth is kind of relative.
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking up with JBE! (And keep posting - you never know who will read your words and see themselves in them and feel less alone.)
I think truth and authenticity are highly attractive to me right now (maybe since I'm focusing so heavily on them myself). I'd rather hear your truth and your feelings and your opinions than a watered down version of what may have happened. I don't care if it's raw or real or not real, give it to me and draw me in. Because someone somewhere will read those words and hear the message.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, I'm so glad I stopped by!
It helps keep it real too. You know, that there is a real person behind the screen.
ReplyDeletewww.mamaandthecity.com
You are so so right. Depression does lie. And it can be hard for people who don't suffer from it to understand it. I am glad you put your words out there. I am glad it gives you release. Blogging has been one of the best things for me in terms of dealing with my anxiety and depression. It's helped me accept who I am and, in some cases, to let it go.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written post.
Your truth is really the only truth that matters. Everyone's perception of reality is different. And to blog is to claim a space to tell YOUR truth as you see it. Never feel you have to apologize for that.
ReplyDeleteMy truth is my truth. It doesn't need to make sense to others. My normal is MY normal, even if it is abnormal to others. It's scary to share if we are unsure of the degree of abnormal, or if we are questioning our own truth. When we brave the storm, when we share, we make real connections to others that share the same "abnormalities" and we then become "normal". We become less alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this one. I was unsure of whether putting the truth out there was worth it after I had quite the backlash on a post I wrote. But writing it was what helped me. So yes, despite the negativity, it is worth it. Keep writing. If people are offended they have every right to not read.
ReplyDeleteTelling the truth on my blog is something I think about a lot. In fact, I haven't told most people I know about my blog yet because I don't want to censor myself. There's still a lot I don't say, because eventually I do want to tell my family and friends, and I don't want them to be hurt by anything I say. I appreciate your perspective on this. And depression is a nasty thing, that truly alters the reality of people who have it.
ReplyDeleteLike everything you write, I love this! You are so right. Depression does lie to you. It has a way of gripping you and manipulating your thoughts. It's a very powerful thing. This is your space and don't ever you have to apologize for using it as your release.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever feel... feel you have to apologize for using it as your release, is what I meant to write. Geesh!
ReplyDeleteIt is your space, and when you have to start censoring yourself, it loses some of its luster. Use it for what it is. A release. A form of therapy. A hobby. Whatever that may be, it's yours, and you keep it the way you want.
ReplyDeleteI've never really thought of this from this perspective. How often do we censor ourselves? Stop, erase, rephrase? Wonder or worry what others will think?
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping I can continue to keep it honest and write from where I am at the moment.
Beautifully written! That was right from your heart.
ReplyDeletePerfection.
You are so right. Just because it might be interpreted differently by someone else does not mean it's not YOUR truth!
Write it. Use your voice. Help others.
Beautiful Jenn!
I also used to think of blogging as self-indulgent and a tad narcissistic. And like you said, maybe it is a little bit of both. But it really is so much more. Through blogging, I've found an outlet, a catharsis, and a voice. And through each, I truly feel I've become a better person - more thoughtful of what I say and how I say it, more insightful with regards to the ways of the world and the way others live their lives, and definitely more positive.
ReplyDeleteThat last point is ironic, too, considering I started my blog as an outlet to rant. But I quickly realized that's not what I want to do or who I want to be, and it's definitely not the way I want others to see me - especially my daughter, who I hope will one day read my words.
So, let the haters hate. I know what blogging's done for me. And I'm glad for it.
Wow - I needed to read this today, especially the "let the haters hate" part. I just discovered Eden and her naked blogging this week too and was blown away. We need more honest raw blogging that that. Like this. Thank you.
ReplyDelete