My toddler boy has me wrapped around his cute, yet slightly dirty, little finger.
My Spartan Race is under 9 weeks away and I have not been getting in as much training as I want to . . . probably as I need to. I took on this challenge as a way to see if I could not only change the way my body looked but to also see just how hard I could push it.
So far, not much has changed.
The weather today meant no opportunity to get out at lunch and get in my training workout but I knew that tonight was available to hit an extra class at the gym and I was banking on that to fill in for the missing training workout. Then it, or rather he, happened.
While I was changing into my gym clothes, I was followed into my bedroom by a sobbing toddler man. Placing his arms across the doorway he told me "You stay momma. You stay." He pointed at my clothes and told me to take them off because I was staying.
It was the heartbroken look on his face that got me and so I changed and we headed back downstairs to cuddle on the couch.
Yes, it was completely the right thing to do as a mom but to be completely honest, it was the wrong thing to do for me. I needed that workout . . . to clear my head . . . to work off some of the weekend stresses and to just spend sometime being Jenn . . . not momma.
Balance . . . is it even remotely possible?
I am a mom that works away from home. I leave the house at 7:15am, drop the kids off on the way into for for 8 am. After an 8 hour day I head back to daycare to pick the kids up and we head home. The kidlets spend the majority of their time away from me.
It makes sense that the little man wanted me to stay home . . . he missed me and he wanted me to put him to bed. Lately all he has wanted to do is cuddle right into me, as close as he can get, and snuggle until he drifts off to sleep. What can I say, I love it. I love feeling his tiny body relax into me and the smell of his hair reminds me that he is still a baby.
In the same breath, I want/need to get to the gym and get in some workouts . . . particularly before my race at the end of June. I am nervous that I am not going to be prepared. It has been mentioned to me that he is just going to keep "pulling this" because I "give in".
If I don't make it for the early class, the one at 7:15pm, I realise that I am not going to make it at all. On a really good night I can force myself to do the training workout at home but I do admit that it is so hard to get motivated after 8pm.
So how do I handle these conflicting needs? How can I be there for my kids and for myself? We won't even begin to mention trying to find the time to clean the house . . . cook meals . . . buy groceries . . . make lunches . . . sigh.