Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Letting Go of the Past

Lately I have been pondering getting rid of another tie to my past.  Not because I have been fixated on the past but because it could  help my family . . .  my present.

I was married before . . . remember my ex-husband married Brad's ex-wife . . . and so now I have a beautiful engagement ring and wedding band that just sit in a box.  Lately I have been thinking about selling them.  Since Brad was laid on last June we could certainly use the money but that is not the only reason for pondering this. 

I have begun to wonder why I still have them.  It is not like I am ever going to pull them out and wear them . . . somehow that just seems to be in poor taste.  I no longer have any emotional ties to the rings.  I have never hide the fact that I have been married before and Little Miss knows that I have had at least two weddings.  In fact, she has a picture of me on my first wedding day in her room because she loves my dress . . . as do I.

There are very few physical items that hold a strong emotional attachment with me. With the exception of furniture built by my dad or grandpa, a few pieces of artwork created by the kids and of course my rings given to me by Brad, I just don't feel the connection with things.

Perhaps it is time to rid myself of these ties to the past . . . while helping my family.  Brad was shocked when I mentioned this to him . . . he has no plans of getting rid of his first wedding band.  He told me that I didn't have to do this and that we can find the extra money we need someplace else. 

Am I wrong for considering this?  Should I feel more of a connection with these rings?  Am I denying my past by selling them?  All questions that have been running through my head. 

I just keep going back to the fact that holding on to them is of no value to my life today . . . but selling them could be.  Thoughts?


  1. I didn't realize the connection between the exes. I have a friend in the same situation.

    What if you kept one and sold the other?

    I'm not sure what I would do.

    Or? If you were bitter, you and B could melt your previous things together and give it to them as a gift.

    Ok, maybe that's ugly.

    Hugs, honey.

  2. I'm very guilty of harbouring connections to items, but with these I'd see it as a good thing you are selling them. If the cash will come in handy, and you have no attachment, then its win/win xx

  3. *frantically searching for the blogpost that mentions your ex's married each other*

    I sold my first wedding rings almost instantly... and never once regretted it. That said, I was basically a child bride who made a bad decision because of immaturity and the rings held zero emotional attachment when I finally grew up and realized 18 year olds have a whole shit load of life to lead before settling down.

    Do what's in your heart. You always do.

  4. I still have my rings, and my ex husband's wedding ring for some reason. Just never did anything with them. No particular reason, but I really have no attachment to them whatsoever.
    I'll sell mine if you sell yours! Is it a pact?

  5. I still own a gold cross that was given to me by an ex boyfriend. I really don't know why i keep it around...memories? I am not sure....weird thing.

  6. I kept the jewelry I got from my high school boyfriend for years, even though it was a really ugly relationship. I'm not sure why I kept them, they had no real emotional attachment. More of a sense of obligation, I guess. Anyhow, after holding on to them for about 5 years, I went ahead and got rid of them, and never once regretted it.

  7. Don't worry about how you "should" feel. If you don't feel anything for them, you don't. And if selling them will help you and your family, I say go for it.

  8. I didn't know his ex married your ex.
    I think people see objects differently. I hold my memories in my head, my journals, and my photos. Brian holds them in objects. I can throw away something without thinking twice but Brian has a panic attack.
    If you don't have any emotional
    Attachment to it then sell it.

  9. I did NOT know you had been married before and I definitely didn't know your and Brand's exes married each other. that is freaky!

    Now about the rings....I would probably sell them. I agree that you don't need them.


Ah connecting is a grand thing!