Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Letting Go of the Past

Lately I have been pondering getting rid of another tie to my past.  Not because I have been fixated on the past but because it could  help my family . . .  my present.

I was married before . . . remember my ex-husband married Brad's ex-wife . . . and so now I have a beautiful engagement ring and wedding band that just sit in a box.  Lately I have been thinking about selling them.  Since Brad was laid on last June we could certainly use the money but that is not the only reason for pondering this. 

I have begun to wonder why I still have them.  It is not like I am ever going to pull them out and wear them . . . somehow that just seems to be in poor taste.  I no longer have any emotional ties to the rings.  I have never hide the fact that I have been married before and Little Miss knows that I have had at least two weddings.  In fact, she has a picture of me on my first wedding day in her room because she loves my dress . . . as do I.

There are very few physical items that hold a strong emotional attachment with me. With the exception of furniture built by my dad or grandpa, a few pieces of artwork created by the kids and of course my rings given to me by Brad, I just don't feel the connection with things.

Perhaps it is time to rid myself of these ties to the past . . . while helping my family.  Brad was shocked when I mentioned this to him . . . he has no plans of getting rid of his first wedding band.  He told me that I didn't have to do this and that we can find the extra money we need someplace else. 

Am I wrong for considering this?  Should I feel more of a connection with these rings?  Am I denying my past by selling them?  All questions that have been running through my head. 

I just keep going back to the fact that holding on to them is of no value to my life today . . . but selling them could be.  Thoughts?
Jenn

9 comments:

  1. I didn't realize the connection between the exes. I have a friend in the same situation.

    What if you kept one and sold the other?

    I'm not sure what I would do.

    Or? If you were bitter, you and B could melt your previous things together and give it to them as a gift.

    Ok, maybe that's ugly.

    Hugs, honey.

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  2. I'm very guilty of harbouring connections to items, but with these I'd see it as a good thing you are selling them. If the cash will come in handy, and you have no attachment, then its win/win xx

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  3. *frantically searching for the blogpost that mentions your ex's married each other*

    I sold my first wedding rings almost instantly... and never once regretted it. That said, I was basically a child bride who made a bad decision because of immaturity and the rings held zero emotional attachment when I finally grew up and realized 18 year olds have a whole shit load of life to lead before settling down.

    Do what's in your heart. You always do.

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  4. I still have my rings, and my ex husband's wedding ring for some reason. Just never did anything with them. No particular reason, but I really have no attachment to them whatsoever.
    I'll sell mine if you sell yours! Is it a pact?

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  5. I still own a gold cross that was given to me by an ex boyfriend. I really don't know why i keep it around...memories? I am not sure....weird thing.

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  6. I kept the jewelry I got from my high school boyfriend for years, even though it was a really ugly relationship. I'm not sure why I kept them, they had no real emotional attachment. More of a sense of obligation, I guess. Anyhow, after holding on to them for about 5 years, I went ahead and got rid of them, and never once regretted it.

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  7. Don't worry about how you "should" feel. If you don't feel anything for them, you don't. And if selling them will help you and your family, I say go for it.

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  8. I didn't know his ex married your ex.
    I think people see objects differently. I hold my memories in my head, my journals, and my photos. Brian holds them in objects. I can throw away something without thinking twice but Brian has a panic attack.
    If you don't have any emotional
    Attachment to it then sell it.

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  9. I did NOT know you had been married before and I definitely didn't know your and Brand's exes married each other. that is freaky!

    Now about the rings....I would probably sell them. I agree that you don't need them.

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Ah connecting is a grand thing!